Sunday, November 6, 2011

Of Blogging Again

Masarap mag-blog. Normal naman sating mga tao ang dumaldal at magkwento. Pero siyempre, namimili tayo ng isasa-publiko. Hindi lahat ng bagay dapat nalalaman ng iba. Hindi rin lahat dapat sinasabi basta-basta. Dapat maging maingat sa lahat ng sinasabi. You'll never know when anything that you say may be used against you.

Oo. Kontrabida ako. Kaya alam ko yang mga bagay na yan. haha.

Anyway, if ever may kakilala akong makakabasa nito, baka maitanong nya sa sarili nya na actually eh para sakin, ok lang ba kay Edward na nagpopost nga siya dito na halos wala namang nagbabasa?Or for me, tanong ko na sa sarili ko kung wala talagang nakakabasa nito, ok lang ba sa akin na magpost dito ng alam ko namang walang nagbabasa?

By all means, yes. Masaya ako na nakakapagtype ako at nakakapagpost dito regardless if there is any one who can actually read my posts. Mas maganda nga yun eh. Walang issue, walang pakialamero/a, walang epal, wala lahat.

Wala ring magdidikta kung paano nga ba ang tamang pagbblog. Walang magdidikta kung ano ang dapat kong ilagay dito. Wala. Wala. Wala.

Dahil jan, eto ang "Ako ang daigdig" ni Alejandro G. Abadilla. Nearly only writers can relate to this. Hahaha. Hindi ko na ito ipapaliwanag. Bahala ka na kung naiintindihan mo. Basta ako naiintindihan ko siya. And this is what this blog is all about.

I
ako
ang daigdig

ako
ang tula

ako
ang daigdig
ang tula

ako
ang daigdig
ng tula
ang tula
ng daigdig

ako
ang walang maliw na ako
ang walang kamatayang ako
ang tula ng daigdig

II
ako
ang daigdig ng tula

ako
ang tula ng daigdig

ako
ang malayang ako
matapat sa sarili
sa aking daigdig
ng tula

ako
ang tula
sa daigdig

ako
ang daigdig
ng tula

ako

III
ako
ang damdaming
malaya

ako
ang larawang
buhay

ako
ang buhay
na walang hanggan

ako
ang damdamin
ang larawan
ang buhay

damdamin
larawan
buhay
tula
ako

IV
ako
ang daigdig
sa tula

ako
ang daigdig
ng tula

ako
ang daigdig

ako
ang tula

daigdig
tula

ako

Of Death in the Family

Death.

It's something that we Filipinos usually tend to not discuss seriously. We live and love life the way it is and like the majority of the population, with regards to our traditions and norms, we focus on the present. We Filipinos usually "cross the bridge when we get there." But, what if, when you reach the bridge, you don't have anyone with you? What if the people you are supposed to be with when you cross the bridge died one-by-one throughout the journey? How will you cross that bridge?

Many times already have I seen people die. Whether by disease or by accident, the essence of a death in the family is still the same. Tears will be shed. Regrets will unfold. Memories will be reminisced. Time will stop. For only a few days.

I have often stressed to nearly everyone I know that I am ready to die anytime. That I have accepted Death even before it came. I have no choice. If I'm dead, I am and there's nothing I can actually do about it. Hell I won't even be able to resuscitate myself.

My friends find it/me weird whenever they learn that somewhere in this online charade, I published my Last Will. I regularly update it. Mind you, please do not even go looking for it since my things are actually junk. Lol.

My family on the other hand does not even give a damn to what I say. Why? Because like me, they also have accepted their deaths and I have seen it by the way we converse. Everytime we go out, one of us will say, "Pag tayo nabangga ng truck, ubos tayo." Someone will reply like, "Nako, pano na yung mga aso natin?" Another one will blurt out, "O, kung sinong matirang buhay, kanya lahat!" (pertaining to whatever assets/properties we have, if we actually have any)

When my older brother posted in Facebook that his head is aching and that he implied that he speculates that it is a tumor, his officemate replied with a, "Uy that's not a good joke..pacheck ka.." after which, my younger brother replied with a, "SAKIN ANG KOTSE!!!" to which my older brother replied, "Nyahahaha leche!!! ♥" After seeing the conversation hours later, I replied, "Car goes to the eldest alive. HAHAHA."

So much for him dying. Still healthy and alive and one of his properties is already being eyed upon.

When the three of us, me and my two brothers were about to depart for Singapore last April, my mother said that should our plane crash, wala na raw siyang matitirang anak. How comforting for me and my younger brother who'll be experiencing our first plane ride.

My mother has diabetes and hypertension stage I. She is not getting any younger. That is why I always tell her to spend her money for herself. Live her own life while she still can because she may die any moment. True. I always tell her that.

You may think that I am a worthless son for telling his mother that she may die any moment but hey, it is but the truth. I have seen in our Emergency Room innumerable cases where people just die of Stroke or Heart Attack. By the time they are brought for us to intervene medically, their souls were already as far as Siberia.

Another thing, our family, by unanimous decision, has decreed that we will all be cremated after a few days of wake. We also discussed that in the event that an accident or disease debilitates any of us to the point that there is a very minimal chance of survival, no Intensive Care will be asked to be rendered. It's economical that way.

Family member stays in ICU for weeks, expenses soar, family is in despair, member dies, debts continue to increase, family mourns, still with debts. Now, who suffers the most? He/She who died or he/she who were left behind?

Not only do the living feel the loss, they will also feel the impact of financial instability. And this is a unanimous decision and rationalization of my family.

Yeah. I guess I'm not the only one eccentric in the family.




Saturday, November 5, 2011

Dreams

It's been nearly a year since I first laid my eyes on you. Twice have I dreamed about you. Today was the third. Though I sometimes try to bridge connections, it is you who always turn me down - without any direct answer though.

Funny how I dreamed of a friend who has a new boyfriend - the boyfriend of another friend of ours. Oh well. Be it a prophetic dream or not, it isn't impossible nor improbable. Malalandi naman sila. hahaha.

Last dream.

I was called by our high school alma mater to host an event. This is more probable than what I have actually dreamed in the first paragraph.

Oh well.

Good morning humans and zombies.

Today I will annihilate a doctor with the powers of a Red Planeswalker. lol.

The Rules of Blogging

Time and time again, the rules of blogging have plagued the internet. Bloggers left and right accuse one another of posting nonsensical stuff. Right from the day I started blogging sometime in 2003, I never even thought that there will be rules. Nor that one day, people of such mediocre thinking will rise to fame and dictate which is which and what is what.

This blog writer made his own set of rules and stated not 6, not 10, but 11! Eleven!

Eleven NON-EXISTENT rules of blogging.

I find it very much weird that the very people I know who said, "Blog to Express, not to Impress," will be the same people who would say how this other blogger suck for expressing what he/she feels/thinks.

Crazy world we live in.

Grammar Nazis are everywhere and they state that they are but Masters of Themselves yet can't seem to master their own grammar.

I also find it weird that these people, who would say that this blogger posts senseless stuff, are actually reading his/her blog from beginning to end, verbatim!

Talk about an unconsciously obsessed fan.

Oh well. I said I'm back to Blogging yet it seems, I'm back to Ranting.

In other news, here's a link for a legit-looking post about the 10 Rules for Responsible Blogging.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Eulogy for the Untimely

People closest to me are aware that I usually "gather" information through variable and conventional means. That means that I do background checks on people even though they are of no significance to my life.

Nonetheless, sometimes, I stumble upon a Facebook account of a recently deceased person or sometimes, even those who have already went away for several months already.

I can't help but feel sadness and silently mourn with the people with whom the said person is associated with. Despite my apathetic stance in life, I do feel their despair. The words that they incur are words that the recipient will never read. Words that will never get proper replies. Words that will stay for the person is already far away.


23

So today marks my 23rd year on this planet.

Nothing special.

Nothing new.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Larong Pilipino

Sa tuwing pumapasok ako sa trabaho, hindi maiiwasan na mapapadaan ang sinasakyan kong jeep sa ilang mga paaralan. Nakikita ko ang mga batang naglalaro sa labas. Habulan. Tayaan. Chinese Garter. At kung anu-ano pa.

Sa labas ng mga pampublikong paaralan ko kadalasan itong nakikita. Naglalaro ang mga bata.

Dati rati, halos lahat ng mga bata, kasama na ako, makikita mo sa labas. Naghahabulan, naglalaro.

May ibang gumagamit ng malaking bato bilang isang base sa larong Agawang Base. Samantalang, palakihan ng tsinelas ang labanan sa Tumbang Preso. Siyempre, mas malaki ang tsinelas mo, mas mataas ang tsansang matamaan mo yung lata. Makakakita ka ng mga batang may nakapulupot na mga pinagdikit-dikit na goma sa katawan. Naglulundagan. Chinese Garter daw ang larong yun. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko alam kung bakit yun ang tawag dun. Oh wait, meron pang larong Ten-Twenty akong naaalala na nilalaro gamit yun.

Naaalala ko nung bata ako, masarap manood ng mga naglalaro ng Luksong Baka. Lalo na kung yung Baka ang lulukso. Tapos payat yung lulundagan. Kawawang nilalang. Hindi yung milagrong pagkakalukso ang inaabangan ko. Kundi yung pagbuwal nung niluksuhan, kasama ng lumukso. Halos pareho rin nung sa Luksong Tinik. Kaso, yung pagsubasob ng lumundag ang hinihintay ko.

Hindi ko malilimutan yung paglalaro ng Taya-tayaan. Pag mabagal kang tumakbo, good luck sayo. Masarap makakita ng mga batang sumusubsob sa buhanginan. Masaya rin ang Tagu-taguan. Na kung saan eh pagkabilang ng sampu, SAVE na agad ang sigaw ng lahat ng ibang naglalaro. Nasa likod lang kasi nung taya. O kaya, habang naghahanap yung taya, wala na pala yung mga kalaro nya, sinundo na ng mga magulang.

Meron ding Jackstones na may kung anu-ano pang Exhibition ang ginagawa kapag natapos mo na ang 1-10. Meron ding Pick-Up Sticks na hindi ko alam kung gawang Pilipino ba talaga. Meron ding Sipa. Na kung saan eh kapag may mga naglalaro sa paligid mo nito, dapat lagi kang alerto dahil hindi mo alam kung kelan ka mababagsakan ng tingga sa ulo. Consolation na lang sayo kung favorite color mo ang kulay ng Straw na nakabuhol dun sa tingga.

Hanggang ngayon, naaalala ko pa kung paanong naglalaro kami ng mga pinsan ko ng Patintero. Nakaharang kami sa kalsada. Siyempre, pag may dumadaang sasakyan, natitigil ang laro namin. Pero masaya. Lalo na kung sampalan ng mukha ang nangyayari. Naalala ko tuloy. Tamaang Bata. Eto naman, ang goal dito, eh tamaan ng taya yung ibang naglalaro. Bola ang kadalasang ginagamit dito. Masarap kapag ikaw ang taya at bola ng basketball ang ibabato mo. Panalo.

Sa jeep, kapag walang magawa, nakikipaglaro ako ng Red Violet. Hindi ko rin alam kung saan nakuha ang larong yun. Basta masarap manghampas ng kamay. Siguro dun nag-ugat ang kalandian ng ilang mga Pilipino. Pati sa Pass the Message. Siguro lang ha. Walang Statistical at Scientific evidence para dito. Tingin ko lang.

Ito ay ilan lang sa mga ala-alang pinagdaanan ko nung kabataan ko. Bihira ko na rin itong nakikita ngayon. Bakit?

Dahil ito sa teknolohiya. Maganda man ang naidudulot sa ating lahat, nakalulungkot pa rin na makitang unti-unting nawawala ang mga Larong Pilipino na kinalakihan ko. Ang mga bata ngayon, sa bahay na lang. Text text. DotA. Sims Social. Facebook. PSP. XBox. At kung anu-ano pa.

Bihira na ang mga naglalaro sa labas.

Hindi naman sa nilalahat ko pero karamihan talaga ng nasa pampublikong paaralan, hindi ganun kaganda ang pamumuhay. Kaya sa tuwing dumaraan ako sa mga pampublikong paaralan, nalulungkot ako at napapaisip...

"Ang mga taong walang kakayahang sumabay sa teknolohiya ang magdadala ng ating kultura."